Saturday, 1 July 2017

To love.

I think it's been six months since I last sat at a keyboard and wanted to write. There is so much I want to write, to get out, to express. It all feels jumbled, raw, emotional.

I'm sat cosy under blankets, listening to Radiohead and Fake Plastic Trees, my essential oil diffuser filling the room with the glorious smell of fresh raspberries, looking out onto the balcony and the deepest blue sky and the looming darkest of dark clouds . There is a hint of something, the moon trying to release it's glorious light onto the world.

I want to sit and type frantically about my skin, about how fucking painful it is to walk, how I am pretending it's OK , how fed up of this shit. Then I read an Instagram post, a woman who's sister has been taken by cancer far too soon, I sit and read through these beautiful words paying tribute to an amazing person and I'm stopped in my tracks. It reminded me of the person I have always wanted to be.

To be the person who does my absolute best by the people I love, for them to know every day that they are loved, adored, that they are everything. If I do one thing well in life, I want it to be this.

Things aren't perfect but they are beautiful. There is love, there is laughter, there is human connection, there is affection, there is hope. There is a purpose. To love.

p.s. excuse crap layout, old blog has malfunctioned big time.